Wednesday, August 10th, 2005
Well, in my recent adventures I’ve happened upon a new blog (one of my favorite pastimes – so don’t forget to let me know where your blog is if you leave a comment) and I just ‘met’ Iris.
Iris feels alone right now. Although I like kissing strangers, I am not without emotion and Iris’ story has touched me. She feels she’s at fault because she loved a man and told him so.
Now, I can go through and answer each one of her questions individually, but I’m sure she has already heard them. I will offer the following though:
You are not an idiot and you will not be judged — at least not by me.
Love is wonderful, but not without its risks. To love, and love fully, is to surrender to those risks knowing that your love may not be reciprocated in the way you wish. Love is also about balance — love of self and love of another (in that order, but do not confuse love of self with being selfish).
When we lose love, any love, we grieve and it must follow the natural course of grieving. Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance and not in that particular order. Death does not need to occur in order for one to feel loss and the length of the process is directly proportional to the perceived greatness of that loss.
Iris, allow yourself to go through the motions — try to play out all the different scenarios in your mind, get angry and scream if you need to, cry until your heart feels empty, then fill it back up to the brim with love again, because, my dear, you will eventually find your way to acceptance.
You will love, and be loved, again — I assure you that you are already loved right now (you’ll let it in once you’re ready, but it’s there). You are not alone.